Twenty years after it’s original release, Chris Gero and Bryan Lennox (Yamaha Entertainment Group) made a dream come true by producing it as a part of Ludujemo s dusom Tour 2011. With gratitude to Chris and Bryan for bringing this song back more beautiful and powerful than ever, I wanted to share the story behind the song that’s never been told publicly.
I remember the day I met with Zrinko Tutic to hear the songs he had compiled for my first album. One song immediately stood out and spoke to me – the words could have been copied out of my teenage diary entries, and the melody had a captivating beauty. On the way home I trembled, daydreaming of some day singing it on a big stage, with amazing musicians and big, flawless sound system. I could feel its power and wanted to make it alive.
We recorded the album in Zelimir Babogredac’s studio in Bosnjaci. I loved Niksa Bratos’ arrangement and enjoyed recording my vocal – trying to give all I had. (My voice was so young and bright we actually had to slow down the tape a bit to get some of the ‘darker’ tones into it…). This song became my favorite and the reason why I loved the album and couldn’t wait for it to be released. After all, I was in love and the song was perfect…
A few months later, Zrinko called me for another meeting – at which he informed me that the release of the album would be pushed back because I was selected to represent Zagreb at the Yugoslavian Song Competition for Eurovision. I was to sing “Strawberry Pickers” (yes, that was the original title and lyric of “Hajde da ludujemo”). Exciting. Even though I already knew that I was just ‘filling’ a spot as someone who won’t be a real threat to the guy everyone wanted to win.
Then Zrinko told me that my favorite ballad from the album (this song) was selected to also enter the contest. It would be performed by a male pop star Masimo Savic and, naturally, pulled off of my album in case he won. I liked Masimo. I liked his music. But I didn’t want him to sing my song. It was like loosing a best friend – the song had a power to, at least for a moment, offer comfort and healing to my broken heart. (Music always did that for me…)
The night I won the contest I actually enjoyed Masimo’s interpretation of my song. Watching him singing his heart out (the lyrics were changed for him, of course) moved me to tears. I felt I was a part of a gift that wasn’t really even mine in the first place (no one can really ‘own’ music – it lives in the hearts and souls of those who share in it – whether they listen, play or sing).
By winning the contest, I also won the song back. It was back on my album and a few short months after I sang it on big stage, with great musicians and the best sound systems, listening to thousands of people singing it back to me.
When I sang this song, I didn’t hold back. It was my song. I was a beautiful superstar who at the end of the night would cry herself to sleep from feeling lonely, wondering if love would ever find her.
Sometimes the song spoke about me and my fans – they had their stories, their loves, their families, friends, destinies… And I felt I was with them in a same ‘distant’ and ‘lonely’ way – never really being able to make a simple, human contact, over a cup of coffee or a glass of wine, without make up on, without stage lights and cameras.
Then I left.
I didn’t take much with me. Two suitcases, few hundred dollars, a coat, my make up case.
But I took the music with me. A few songs that didn’t need to be claimed at the customs, that I could never loose no matter what, that nobody could ever take from me.
I walked many nights the streets of the City that Never Sleeps and comforted my homesick heart by humming my song.
I sang it many times at different gatherings – public and private.
I whispered it sitting by my piano while my babies were asleep.
Through the years the one line kept gaining a deeper and deeper meaning: “Though you are with someone else, I’ll always be with you”. The line spoke about my friends, my family, people whom I loved but were somewhere far away, those who passed on, and about a memory of a time that I will never forget and the Love that will bind us forever.
I walked into the sound room of YEG studios in Nashville ready to sing my heart out only a day after my last concert of a six week long tour. I put the headphones on and lifted my chin up to the level of the microphone. I closed my eyes as the track started. Twenty years of my life flashed through my memory, the incredible journey that lead me to where I am now, singing my song produced by amazing musicians and producers, recording it as a tribute and a gift to all who keep the dream and the faith alive.
I am looking forward to hearing new stories from people who will experience this song for the very first time. I am looking forward to singing it along with 20,000 people at the Arenas as we remember the old and look forward to the new.