We were driving southbound on I95 after our last concert at St. Christopher’s Church in York, Maine, still energized from the amazing experience, trying to recap the tour.  Matthew, who was driving, would say the name of the church and the town and Denny, Maya and I (Melanie had already gone her way after the concert) would try to fill in the details - the names of people that organized the event, priests and deacons, where we had stayed and what we had had for dinner.  It wasn’t easy - the beginning of the tour, although only 6 weeks ago, seemed like months ago.   

After we said goodbye to Denny (whom we dropped off in Woonsocket, RI where some friends of ours would take him to the Providence airport in the morning) we continued south.  In the silence of the all night drive I tried to remember all those who had talked to me after the concerts - sharing their stories with me, asking for prayers as well as those who had offered their prayers for our intentions.  

It is what I like about my spiritual music - the openness between me, as a performer, and my audience.  There are no walls, no pretense.  There are no “throw-away” songs or “fillers”.  Every word is important, felt and thought through, every note occupies time laden with prayer and meditation.  Often I find it difficult to contain all the emotions that surface through the music, or ignore the thoughts that linger in my mind long after the concert is over.  It’s that very thing that I find so inspiring and rewarding, that also leaves me exhausted and sad, particularly after the “I Thirst” concerts.  The entire tour I couldn’t “shake-off” the feeling that we are not doing enough - I would like to be able to offer comfort and hope to someone who has none.  Well, it just means we need to work harder and not give up. 

I am ready.  Almost.  No, actually in all honesty, I am not ready at all. I am tired and I do need a break - to catch my breath and refill my heart.  Once Easter comes, I will listen to some happy music, dance until I collapse, I will have a glass of wine (or two) with Matthew and some friends and laugh an evening (or two) away.  I will go bike riding with my boys and in the evening hug and kiss them as we all fall asleep in the same bed cozy with fresh linens and soft pillows.  I will buy a bunch of bright yellow tulips and then I will be ready for more…  

For now, I pray…